All posts by hsentenac

Miami New Times event preview

Miami is a young buck as far as cities go. But while our years are few, our memories are many. Overtown is one such bastion of historical recollection. One of the city’s earliest black neighborhoods, it boasts a narrative that includes the voices of some of music’s greatest African-American musicians, including Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, and Billie Holiday.

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Art feature for the New Times’ Cultist blog

It’s a good time to be an artist in Miami. First, Americans for the Arts announced that Miami-Dade county spent upwards of $1 billion on cultural events in 2010. And now, it’s looking like that number will only increase in the coming years.

ArtPlace, a philanthropic collaboration between the National Endowment for the Arts, the Knight Foundation, and various other monied organizations, has awarded grants totaling $745,000 to members of Miami’s creative set.

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Miami New Times event preview

Admit it — a knock-down, drag-out battle royal gets your bloodlust boiling. And when you add wheels to that hip-checking and shoulder-slamming, even better. So indulge your barbarous desires with a night out in support of Miami’s flat-track derby team, the Vice City Rollers. This conglomeration of chicks on wheels will go skate-to-skate against the Dub City Roller Girls, belles of the brawl visiting from West Palm Beach in their second game of the season. Founded in 2011, our hometown team is bringing kickass back to South Florida and helping local charities to boot. Derby newbies can learn the ropes (or rather, the ring) and watch these femmes power-jam their way to victory.

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Dining list for New Times’ Short Order blog

Bottomless booze is a beautiful thing. And nothing says Sunday morning hangover cure like free-flowing bubbles (or bloodies). Lucky for the lush among us, there are lots of Miami brunch spots offering weekend libations to soothe that queasy stomach and bring back that pleasant buzz.

So next time Saturday night’s festivities leave you a little worse for the wear, here’s a lineup of eateries where you can get your day drinking on. Cheers.

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Party list for New Times’ Cultist blog

Hurricane season is officially upon us. And just because we’ve lucked out every year since ’05 doesn’t mean we’ll escape 2012 unscathed. In fact, Mother Nature is probably jonesing to hit us with a little corporal punishment.

As a South Floridian, you’ve no doubt been inundated with how-tos on storm preparedness — so we won’t re-hash those details. You know how to stay alive by now. Instead, we’re here to advocate preparedness for another, equally important tempest task: the hurricane party.

The stated purpose of this (mostly) Southern tradition is in large part to consume all perishable goods. But that’s not the real reason people come together in scary storms. Is there any better reason to party than the prospect of impending doom? Frankly, there’s no better time to booze it up and bond with friends than during a disaster when no one has to work and the Internet is down.

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Miami New Times event preview

When it comes to South Florida, what we lack in hills and valleys we make up for in stunning scenery. So why not take in a bit of that blue-skied beauty with a Key Biscayne Bike Adventure? This two-wheeled jaunt will give you an up-close and personal glimpse of our city’s picturesque barrier island. Let naturalist guides regale you with tales of the island’s history.

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Yelp event review

There are three types of people: those who dig art and know a lot about it, those who dig art and know nothing about it, and those who don’t give a mierda either way.

I am of the second persuasion.

I can sum up my philosophy on the art I like with the wise words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart:  “I know it when I see it,” (Ok, so he was mostly referring to porn, but the dude had a way with words).

The art-educated (IE, the people who know Britto actually isn’t Miami’s most brilliant citizen) and the art ignorant can walk the streets together, cocktails in hand, Instagram apps poised and ready. The galleries open their doors, showcase their wares and ply Miamians with luscious libations.

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Yelp event review

Hippies, rejoice. The free love, free hugs, free spirited days of the Woodstock era are alive and well (even in Miami). Every month, as the pie in the sky reaches its full glory, dozens of offbeat Miamians gather to dance, drink, drum and bask in the joy of living on a remote stretch of North Beach.

As the drums start to beat, get up to groove. Interpretive dance is the gist of it, so wave your arms, hop around, shake your tail-feather; lose your inhibitions. As Johnny Castle once said, feeeeeel the music. Get liberated.

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Easter list for New Times’ Cultist blog

Easter Sunday is almost upon us, and for plenty of people, that means stiff church pews, guilt-inducing sermons, and forced family time.

All that stuff gets old quick, even among the pious. And we at Cultist are, well, not so pious.

If you’re like us — i.e. you didn’t know Easter was this weekend until your mom called to passive-aggressively ask you which church service you’d be attending — you’re probably looking for ways to spend this Sunday that are a little less traditional. And we’ve got you covered.

Check out these five ways to get your seven deadly sins on this Easter.

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Humor piece for New Times’ Cultist blog

As Mother’s Day approaches, we’re reminded of the tireless efforts of the women who lovingly raised us into the neuroses-plagued adults we are today. They cooked for us, they cleaned up after us, they dressed our wounds and taught us manners. And along the way, they left us with more than a few emotional battle scars.

But despite the many flaws of our maternal role models, most of us should thank our lucky stars. After all, it could have been worse. Much worse.

Just take a look at this list of abusers, murderers, and straight-up sociopaths. You’ll be kissing your momma’s feet in no time, even though you’re still mad at her for dressing you up as a Care Bear on Halloween years ago.

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