Category Archives: Events

Miami Book Fair preview

Every fall, as eagerly as we await 75 degree temperatures and a break in our AC bills, Miami’s bibliophiles anticipate the literary amusement park known as the Miami Book Fair International. And for all those bookworms champing at the bit, there’s good news: the nearly 300-strong author attendee list has officially been released — and it’s chock full of big names.

Some of the most notable include young adult horror kings Christopher Pike and R.L. Stine, actress (and new author) Molly Ringwald, conservative mouthpiece Bill O’Reilly, pop culture critic Tom Wolfe (who was announced back in June) and bestselling novelist James Patterson, all plugging their newest tomes.

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Miami New Times event preview

Miami is a young buck as far as cities go. But while our years are few, our memories are many. Overtown is one such bastion of historical recollection. One of the city’s earliest black neighborhoods, it boasts a narrative that includes the voices of some of music’s greatest African-American musicians, including Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, and Billie Holiday.

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Miami New Times event preview

Admit it — a knock-down, drag-out battle royal gets your bloodlust boiling. And when you add wheels to that hip-checking and shoulder-slamming, even better. So indulge your barbarous desires with a night out in support of Miami’s flat-track derby team, the Vice City Rollers. This conglomeration of chicks on wheels will go skate-to-skate against the Dub City Roller Girls, belles of the brawl visiting from West Palm Beach in their second game of the season. Founded in 2011, our hometown team is bringing kickass back to South Florida and helping local charities to boot. Derby newbies can learn the ropes (or rather, the ring) and watch these femmes power-jam their way to victory.

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Miami New Times event preview

When it comes to South Florida, what we lack in hills and valleys we make up for in stunning scenery. So why not take in a bit of that blue-skied beauty with a Key Biscayne Bike Adventure? This two-wheeled jaunt will give you an up-close and personal glimpse of our city’s picturesque barrier island. Let naturalist guides regale you with tales of the island’s history.

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Yelp event review

There are three types of people: those who dig art and know a lot about it, those who dig art and know nothing about it, and those who don’t give a mierda either way.

I am of the second persuasion.

I can sum up my philosophy on the art I like with the wise words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart:  “I know it when I see it,” (Ok, so he was mostly referring to porn, but the dude had a way with words).

The art-educated (IE, the people who know Britto actually isn’t Miami’s most brilliant citizen) and the art ignorant can walk the streets together, cocktails in hand, Instagram apps poised and ready. The galleries open their doors, showcase their wares and ply Miamians with luscious libations.

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Yelp event review

Hippies, rejoice. The free love, free hugs, free spirited days of the Woodstock era are alive and well (even in Miami). Every month, as the pie in the sky reaches its full glory, dozens of offbeat Miamians gather to dance, drink, drum and bask in the joy of living on a remote stretch of North Beach.

As the drums start to beat, get up to groove. Interpretive dance is the gist of it, so wave your arms, hop around, shake your tail-feather; lose your inhibitions. As Johnny Castle once said, feeeeeel the music. Get liberated.

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Humor guide for New Times’ Cultist blog

While some believe flower children vanished with the advent of the Internet, for many, the Age of Aquarius lives on. Commonly known as hippies, these patchouli-scented throwbacks spread the love wherever they roam. Creatures of the counterculture, they’re most commonly discovered west of the Mississippi — in the streets of Haight-Ashbury, the sands of Venice and the boardwalk of Santa Cruz. But occasionally, plastic peace signs and Grateful Dead tunes can yet be found in the swamps of South Florida.

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Easter list for New Times’ Cultist blog

Easter Sunday is almost upon us, and for plenty of people, that means stiff church pews, guilt-inducing sermons, and forced family time.

All that stuff gets old quick, even among the pious. And we at Cultist are, well, not so pious.

If you’re like us — i.e. you didn’t know Easter was this weekend until your mom called to passive-aggressively ask you which church service you’d be attending — you’re probably looking for ways to spend this Sunday that are a little less traditional. And we’ve got you covered.

Check out these five ways to get your seven deadly sins on this Easter.

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Event preview for New Times’ Cultist blog

Being a grown-up is pretty lame. Go to work, run errands, pay bills. The daily grind is so boooooring. So who doesn’t love an opportunity to let your kid flag fly?

Enter the Color Run, a 5K of straight-up silliness that ends in a cornucopia of chromacity. You haven’t seen so many hues since your finger-painting days.

This stateside-famous event is all about entertainment: just a fun-for-all jaunt in which participants get pelted with a rainbow of “magical color dust.” (No, really, that is exactly how it’s described at the website.) You can run, walk, or skip the 3.1 miles. And there’s no timing, no pressure, no overly serious athletes, or other buzzkills.

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Yelp tribute to Miami

Before I met Miami, my life was a series of mercurial moves. I was a wanderer; a gypsy; always fleeing in earnest from one city to another. A “rambling (wo)man”, so to speak. In the words of Hank Williams, “Some folks may say that I’m no good/That I wouldn’t settle down if I could/But when that open road starts to calling me/There’s something o’er that hill that I gotta see.”

That was me. From Honolulu to Laramie and New York City to Napa; from Dallas to Washington, DC and Panama City Beach to Hollywood: my nomadic nature led me from one new city to another; free to begin anew, alone and unhindered.

Relationships were ended. Furniture was given away. Friends were left behind. Jobs were quit. After nine months or so in a new place, the familiar feelings of discontent would roll in like the tide and I’d be planning my next escape.

Then, I met the Magic City, and everything changed.

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